Salon Roquet

The Library

Fan Contribution

Mankey Mania

By TRAnimeGal

"James, give me that!" Jesse snatched the can of pink nuclear-bond hairspray out of his unsuspecting hands.  "Don't ever touch my hairspray or you'll die a horrible death."

"I was just reading the label..."

"I don't care!  Don't touch!" James gave her one of his sickly sweet smiles that made her anger melt away.  She tried not to show it, though.  "Well, fine.  Just stay away from it."

The two Team Rocket members were getting ready for another day of weapons, bruises, and the occasional thundershock.  Jesse was doing her hair, which took at least half an hour, and James was just staring at her for some reason.  "James, why do you insist on watching my every move?"

He stared at her for a few seconds and then realized she was talking to him.  "Why not?" He went back to staring.  From his point of view the background faded into a soft pink and all those little love bubbles came rising out of nowhere.  "Beautiful," he mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"I said... umm... beating tool.  I need a new mallet."

"Oh, OK..."  Not quite getting it, she continued to brush her hair.

A loud rapping came from the door.  "I guess I'll get it."  James took one last glance at Jesse and went to answer the door.  He turned the knob as Jesse proceeded to spray her hair with two cans of hairspray.  James opened the door to find 3 dozen Mankey standing outside.  "Look, Jess, there's a whole herd of Mankey outside the door."

She gasped.  "Don't just stand there, you fool!  Grab them!"  She ran over and, for some unknown reason, sprayed a couple of Mankey with her spray, turning them pink.

"Cotton candy."  James picked up the fuzzy magenta Pokémon.  "Aww, isn't it sweet?"

"WREE!! WREE!!"  The Mankey squealed and jumped out of James' hands.

It kicked him in the shin and gave a loud cry.  "Why you son of a..."  James held his leg in pain.  "Jesse, get them!"

"AAHHHH!  James!  Help!!"  He looked over just in time to see Jesse being carried out by the Mankey herd.  He stood there dumbfounded as the pig monkeys carried her out of sight.  Jesse's cried echoed throughout the forest.  "JAMES!!"

He stood there in awe.  After a minute he realized that he needed to rescue her from the savage beasts.  "Jesse, I'm coming!  Don't worry!" James ran in the direction the crowd was headed.  He came to a fork in the path.  Which way did she go?  He was deciding when he noticed a spray of pink leading down the left path.  He commented, "Not only beautiful, but intelligent, too."

He had walked about two miles when he reached a clearing.  What he saw was a bit of a shocker.  Jesse was tied to a large tree and her cans of hairspray were on a stump next to it.  She was squealing and squirming as a few of the Mankey rubbed up against her legs.  "Ahhhh!!  Stop it, you perverted Mankey!"  She kicked a couple away.

James shook as he tried to hold in his laughter.  It was no use.  He burst out, tears rolling his cheeks.  "Hi, Jesse," he managed between chuckles.

"James?  James!  Get me out of here!  Ugh!  Hurry up!  I think it's
coming on to me or something... Ewww!  God!  Get them away!"  She kicked another one.

"I'll save you in a second.  First I need to figure out what's making these Mankey so... so... willing."

"You mean... ugh!  Gross!  James, hurry up!!  I'll do anything!  I'll be nice to you!  Please!  Get them away!"

James looked around in deep thought as he tried to find the source of the Mankey craze.  Walking over to the stump, he picked up a can of the nuclear-bond spray.  He started reading the ingredients, most of which he
couldn't pronounce. "Ah ha!"

"Did you figure it out?  James, please come untie me... quickly!" A Mankey hopped up on her shoulder. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Her terrified scream penetrated the air.  James thought it a fit choice to get her out of there.  "I'll tell you later.  First let's remove you from the trunk of that tree." He started over to untie Jesse when a whole load of Mankey started attacking him.  "Moon Prism Makeup!!" He stood there for a few seconds.  "Oops.  Wrong show.  Emekial lance!!!" Nothing.  "Oops.  Wrong again!"

"James, you imbecile, hurry up!"

"I've got it!  Hi-ya!!"  He high kicked the Mankey right into the sky.  "Ha!"  A roundhouse sent another sprawling across the ground.  Punch after punch, kick after kick, the Mankey went soaring. James gave one last cry as he uppercut a Mankey into a tree.  "Good thing I took some karate."

Jesse gawked in amazement.  Was this the same person that whined for food and cowarded at Pikachu?  "Wow, James.  That was amazing."

"Nothing I wouldn't do for my partner!"  He smiled proudly as he untied the rope and let it drop to the ground.

Jesse shook out her sore limbs and ran up to him.  "Thank you so much!  You saved me from those awful things.  You're my hero!"  She slung her arms around him.

James blushed a bit as he clung to his friend with all his might. With one last squeeze he released her.

"Well, you're my hero for now, anyway."  She smiled.  "So, what was the cause of that whole ordeal?"

"Pokénip."

"Pokénip?"

He nodded.  "That's a plant that's sort of like catnip for cats, except it's for Pokémon.  Problem is, those Mankey sort of overdosed on it. I found out that Pokénip was an ingredient in your hairspray to give it a nice scent.  So every time you sprayed it, more of the smell was released into the air.  You sprayed it while they were carrying you, so it got to them quicker."

"Oh.  Why did they attack you?"

"I was an impending male.  They thought I was a threat and would take you away for myself.  Guess they were right."  He said it with some sort of twisted zeal that made him sould proud yet ridiculous.

"I'd rather have the Mankey."

"What?!?!"

"OK, geez, it was just a joke."

"Is that what kind of thanks I get for saving you?"  He put his hand on his hip.

"No, you get this."  As quick as she could she moved in and gave him a small peck on the cheek.  She stood back and blushed slightly.

"I think I'll be a hero more often."

"Good."  She turned a darker red.  "We got to finish getting ready so we can get those brats."

"You're right.  Let's go."  They started walking back to their cabin.

"Oh, and James?"

"Yes?"

"Don't ever touch my hairspray again."

 

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